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How to fuck a baking cheesecake [56k durrrrrr] by overseer07 Visit Thread

Since the cooking threads have become pretty popular around here lately, I thought I'd share a good recipe for cheesecake - perfect for wowing your family/wife/friends/real doll on those special occasions.

This is a recipe for 3-berry cheesecake with a sour cream and vanilla topping. It's delicious - mostly because it's got enough fucking saturated fat to kill you about 10 times over. Speaking of which, this cheesecake will serve 10.

The gear
- Stand mixer such as a Kitchen Aid
- 10" cheesecake or springform pan
- Zip top bag
- Rubber/silicon spatula, measuring cups and spoons
- Mixing bowls and spoons
- Cooling rack

The ingredients
Crust:
- 15 graham cracker squares
- 1/4 cup melted unsalted butter
- 6-8 butter cookies

Filling:
- 4 packages (8oz each) cream cheese
- 1 1/4 cups sugar
- 4 eggs
- 2 Tablespoons lemon juice
- 1 teaspoon vanilla

Topping:
- 1/2 cup sour cream
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 1 Tablespoon lemon juice
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- 1 1/2 cups mixed berries or sliced strawberries (frozen are ok)



First, get all your shit together. Let the cream cheese warm to almost room temperature. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.



Gather your graham crackers and cookies and place them in a zip bag.



Smash the shit out of them until they are crumbled. I am using a can of something or other but you can use a rolling pin or even skip this and do it in a food processor.



Add the melted butter and mix thoroughly.



Pack into the bottom of the greased springform pan. I'm using a 10" pan with 3" sides. Place the pan and crust into the freezer.



Put the cream cheese and the sugar into your mixing bowl and mix on low-medium speed for 3 minutes.



Your cat can help you with the extra cream cheese. Wash your fucking nasty cat-slobber hands with soap and water before you continue.



As you mix the filling, you will want to scrape down the sides of the bowl with your spatula.



Add the eggs ONE AT A TIME. Mix 30 seconds or so and scrape the sides of the bowl down between EACH egg or the top of your cheesecake will have cracks.



Now add the vanilla and the lemon juice. Mix for another minute or so.



Pull your crust out of the freezer and add the filling. You can smooth it out with the spatula or shake the pan gently to level it all out.







Put it in the oven. You don't need to worry about all that fancy waterbath shit for this cheesecake. Note the incredibly well used pizza stone; your pizza stone helps even out oven temperature and should always be inside.



Bake for 40-60 minutes. Note that the timing is HIGHLY VARIABLE based on your altitude and oven. It is ready to come out when the top is just beginning to brown and the center is still kind of jiggly.



Meanwhile you can thaw out your berries if they're frozen.



Remove the pan from the oven and cool for 10 minutes. Leave the oven on. The cake will fall slightly as it cools. (Note: this cheesecake is very slightly overdone)



Meanwhile you can mix up your topping. Simply stir the sour cream, sugar, lemon juice and vanilla together.



Apply the topping evenly and all the way out to the edges. Put it back in the oven and bake for 5 minutes at 350 F.


Now remove the cheesecake and cool for at least 2 hours.




You're ready to add your berries Then carefully cover and refigerate for at least 5 hours before serving.




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