Alright everybody, it's my turn to share a recipe — and it's a secret one so you better feel special. This was a recipe my mom gave me back in the day and I can't find it online by it's original name, so here I am, giving it to you. Impress your friends. Impress women. Perfect for nights alone sobbing in front of the teevee or if you're PMSing. Alors — on with the baking, bitches.
Wow, you're a fucking slob aren't you? Clean off some
space in your nasty-ass kitchen. And wash some dishes
while you're at it.
Here's what you need Julia Child. No, drunkie, you don't need the So-Co.
Make sure you have the small box of pudding mix and a cake mix without
pudding in it (I got the cheap Wal-Mart kind).
Pre-heat the oven.
Add your cake mix and pudding mix to your bowl.
Four, four eggs, ah ah ah!
I like to put it in the measuring cup at the same time. It's fun to watch.
Dump in that entire 8 oz. tub of sour cream. Go on. Do it, you pansy.
That's right sparky, use the whole bag.
This part's optional. I recommend starting off with just chocolate, but if
you're feeling adventurous... Only use half the bag, though.
I like to mix my cakes while rocking out to Frank Sinatra.
Make sure you use a bundt pan. Go buy one if you need to, they're
like $4 at Wal-Mart.
You're all grown up and mom's not around. You finish off that batter
yourself. And make sure you save a few chocolate chips for yourself,
too. Fuck salmonella, you're stronger than that shit.
Looks like you're doing it right.
Now, go find an hour-long show on TV and relax a bit.
Bad idea, you pussy.
There ya go, "Friends" reruns are right up you're alley. And hey, it's an
episode where Ross has a growth on his ass. Check it during the
commercial breaks in the second episode. When The American
President comes on, your impending heart attack should be
ready to come out of the oven. (Remember, cooking times vary
)
Put a plate on top of the bundt pan and flip it over. Look at what you did!
It's okay, the frosting will hide it. Let your cake cool off for a while or the
frosting will get all melty.
Enjoy, but remember — little slices.
Wow, you're a fucking slob aren't you? Clean off some
space in your nasty-ass kitchen. And wash some dishes
while you're at it.
Here's what you need Julia Child. No, drunkie, you don't need the So-Co.
Make sure you have the small box of pudding mix and a cake mix without
pudding in it (I got the cheap Wal-Mart kind).
Pre-heat the oven.
Add your cake mix and pudding mix to your bowl.
Four, four eggs, ah ah ah!
I like to put it in the measuring cup at the same time. It's fun to watch.
Dump in that entire 8 oz. tub of sour cream. Go on. Do it, you pansy.
That's right sparky, use the whole bag.
This part's optional. I recommend starting off with just chocolate, but if
you're feeling adventurous... Only use half the bag, though.
I like to mix my cakes while rocking out to Frank Sinatra.
Make sure you use a bundt pan. Go buy one if you need to, they're
like $4 at Wal-Mart.
You're all grown up and mom's not around. You finish off that batter
yourself. And make sure you save a few chocolate chips for yourself,
too. Fuck salmonella, you're stronger than that shit.
Looks like you're doing it right.
Now, go find an hour-long show on TV and relax a bit.
Bad idea, you pussy.
There ya go, "Friends" reruns are right up you're alley. And hey, it's an
episode where Ross has a growth on his ass. Check it during the
commercial breaks in the second episode. When The American
President comes on, your impending heart attack should be
ready to come out of the oven. (Remember, cooking times vary
)Put a plate on top of the bundt pan and flip it over. Look at what you did!
It's okay, the frosting will hide it. Let your cake cool off for a while or the
frosting will get all melty.
Enjoy, but remember — little slices.
__________________
TCC: Do what now?
TCC: Do what now?