Hello. Today we are making a simple food product that goes by some names, some of which I'll not utter here.




You need:

400 grams of plain, crumbly cookies
200 grams (one bar) of real, hard, unsoftened butter
200g of sugar, although 100g might be better, especially if the cookies are sweet.
4 tbsp of cocoa
a heater
a rolling pin or other instrument of cookie destruction




You could, or should half the amount of ingredients if you intend to eat everything alone, unless you're a big fatass.




Crush the cookies with a rolling pin, and collect the crumbs. Put 10-15% of the crumbs aside.




Melt the butter, don't heat more than it needs to melt.




Mix the cookie crumbs, sugar, and cocoa. (In the hindsight, it might be an even better idea to mix the sugar with melted butter instead)




Mix in the butter




Stir and knead the it until the mix looks and feels like freshly dumped, chunky bowl of feces.

If it's really too dry, you can some milk, but it should have a mostly rough texture instead of just greasy.





Touch the poo, play with the poo, make little balls out of the poo.

In theory, the smaller balls you can make the better, but I found it the easiest to work with small handfuls and squeeze them to about donkey turd size.




Roll the shit nuggets in cookie crumbs you set aside earlier.




I... HAVE CREATED.. SHIT!




Once done, put the droppings in the fridge to terrify your family.

The downside of this all is that you can't immediately enjoy your sweet shitnuggets. Right after creation they taste mostly like greasy sweetened butter, that is, not all that great. For best results, leave them in the fridge overnight, or even longer, like 24+ hours. Considering they contain a lot of calories, they should last a while.

Happy