Every so often, a food comes along that seperates the men from the boys, a food that causes heartburn at first sight, a food that clogs arteries and fills stomachs and leaves mouths screaming MORE! The Breakfast Log is just one such food.
The breakfast stemmed from a time when me and a friend were joking around after seeing a commercial on TV for some massive ridiculous fast food breakfast sandwhich. Might as well just compact it all together and serve it with dipping sauce, we concluded. Well, there's not much to do around here, so one day last winter we ended up making it.
Rough Ingredients List:
Eggs (3-4)
Sausage Patties (3)
Bacon (about a half pack, however much that is)
Pancakes (4-8 depending on size)
One Bag Shredded Cheese
Cooking Oil or some other sort of grease
Maple Syrup
STEP 1:
Cook everything as per directions on the package. Here you see some fine wal-mart branded breakfast sausages sizzling.
Remember to use lots of oil so you don't fuck up the pancakes. Like we did. My friend scraping the pancake batter off the pan.
The eggs should be scrambled. You can even cook them in the microwave. Lazy fucks.
STEP 2:
Once everything is cooked, cut it up into small pieces. The pieces of stuff should be small, easily bite sized. Next, dump it all in a big mixing bowl and proceed to stir it around with the stirring implement of your choice. Wooden sppoons are preffered over genetalia in most situations. Don't forget the cheese!
STEP 3:
Now that you have your mixture, it's time to form it into a log. For this step, you'll need some microwavable tube. A plastic glass works nice. A compacting implement is also needed. We used this thermometer dealie wrapped in saran wrap.
Grease your tube-shaped container up with the cooking oil, and rub it around with a napkin or something so it's evenly spread. Scoop the mixture carefully into the plastic cup. Mash it down with the thermometer as hard as you can, it should be ultra compact. You'll probably need to make 2 logs, depending on the size of your cup and how much shit you cooked.
STEP 4:
Cover it with saran wrap and pop that sucker in the microwave. Microwaving time is rather ambiguous. Originally, the idea was to melt the cheese and glue this thing together, but I don't really know if this is needed. Anywho, we put it in for about 5 minutes.
STEP 5:
Slide it out of the tube, CAREFULLY. It's best to place the tube upside down on the plate, tap the bottom until the log starts to slide, then tilt the glass and slowly let it slide out onto the plate. Slice, and serve. Shown here with milk, maple syrup, and some bizzare fucking jello that was in the fridge. Serves about 3.
Make sure your friend does the dishes, as illustrated here.
The guidlines for making the breakfast log are really loose. Just about anything breakfasty can be thrown in. For example, pancakes could be replaced with pop tarts. This food is not reccomended for frequent consumption if you plan on living past 30.
The breakfast stemmed from a time when me and a friend were joking around after seeing a commercial on TV for some massive ridiculous fast food breakfast sandwhich. Might as well just compact it all together and serve it with dipping sauce, we concluded. Well, there's not much to do around here, so one day last winter we ended up making it.
Rough Ingredients List:
Eggs (3-4)
Sausage Patties (3)
Bacon (about a half pack, however much that is)
Pancakes (4-8 depending on size)
One Bag Shredded Cheese
Cooking Oil or some other sort of grease
Maple Syrup
STEP 1:
Cook everything as per directions on the package. Here you see some fine wal-mart branded breakfast sausages sizzling.
Remember to use lots of oil so you don't fuck up the pancakes. Like we did. My friend scraping the pancake batter off the pan.
The eggs should be scrambled. You can even cook them in the microwave. Lazy fucks.
STEP 2:
Once everything is cooked, cut it up into small pieces. The pieces of stuff should be small, easily bite sized. Next, dump it all in a big mixing bowl and proceed to stir it around with the stirring implement of your choice. Wooden sppoons are preffered over genetalia in most situations. Don't forget the cheese!
STEP 3:
Now that you have your mixture, it's time to form it into a log. For this step, you'll need some microwavable tube. A plastic glass works nice. A compacting implement is also needed. We used this thermometer dealie wrapped in saran wrap.
Grease your tube-shaped container up with the cooking oil, and rub it around with a napkin or something so it's evenly spread. Scoop the mixture carefully into the plastic cup. Mash it down with the thermometer as hard as you can, it should be ultra compact. You'll probably need to make 2 logs, depending on the size of your cup and how much shit you cooked.
STEP 4:
Cover it with saran wrap and pop that sucker in the microwave. Microwaving time is rather ambiguous. Originally, the idea was to melt the cheese and glue this thing together, but I don't really know if this is needed. Anywho, we put it in for about 5 minutes.
STEP 5:
Slide it out of the tube, CAREFULLY. It's best to place the tube upside down on the plate, tap the bottom until the log starts to slide, then tilt the glass and slowly let it slide out onto the plate. Slice, and serve. Shown here with milk, maple syrup, and some bizzare fucking jello that was in the fridge. Serves about 3.
Make sure your friend does the dishes, as illustrated here.
The guidlines for making the breakfast log are really loose. Just about anything breakfasty can be thrown in. For example, pancakes could be replaced with pop tarts. This food is not reccomended for frequent consumption if you plan on living past 30.