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Get your kilts on, it's time for potato scones! by Yog-Sothoth Visit Thread
Unless you're prepared to suck at football, grow a red beard and develop a nigh-incomprehensible accent, potato scones are the best way to be just like a Scotsman! These delicious little pastryesque items are edible in just about every situation. It's common to have them as part of a hot breakfast, you can put them on sandwiches, eat with any of a spectrum of condiments or just salt the buggers and eat them by the truckload.

What's more, they're dirt cheap, I'd wager you can make potato scones cheaper pound for pound than buying bulk discount store ramen, and they're a damnsight tastier. The recipe is ridiculously simple and even a hamfisted blind monkey with narcolepsy can create a stack of scones in short order.

This recipe is extremely scalable, and the amount I make usually correlates with how many potatoes I have around at a given time, so I don't bother with specific measurements. All the other ingredients are relative to the potatoes, it's still easy to work out.

What are the ingredients you say? Here come the usual suspects of any good, simple recipe.



Potatoes - "'tatties" in the vernacular, any amount will do, I just grab the 99c/kilo unwashed variety since you'll have to peel them anyway. Any potato will do, though it's best to go with generic kinda potatoes that will mash easily. Sweet potatoes and their ilk aren't what we're after here.

Flour - Plain, unremarkable flour. You won't need a ton of it, and I picked up this kilo bag for 99c at the supermarket, it will last a good few batches. You'll probably be using less than half the weight of the potatoes in flour, but it all depends on what type of potatoes and how your flour blends, but we'll get into that in a bit.

Butter - Don't go overboard here, we aren't making some kind of artery-seeking missile (there's plenty of time for that when you're applying condiments and whatnot!) but do use butter and not margarine if you can get it. Butterwise you'll be needing about a tablespoon per kilo of potatos, again, it doesn't have to be precise.

Salt - Again, not a lot. You'll probably salt them a little when eating, but its good to have about a teaspoon or so in the mix just to give it a little flavour.


Righto, now, peel your tatties and pile them into a broken old microwave-safe container (I haven't replaced it because it's 'lucky'. I swear.). If you're stuck in the dark ages you can boil your potatoes in a pot, but the rest of us will be over here bombarding our food with radiation. Now prepare some cooking music, cos these will take a while to cook


Boil your potatoes for however long it takes your microwave to make them soft. Test them by poking a knife into em, if you meet resistance in the middle they aren't done enough. You should be able to poke clear through the soft potatoes and have them nearly falling apart.


Drain the water and let them cool a little - that bit is important. Veggies immersed in boiling water for ~15 minutes are fucking hot. Burns are not a good accompaniment to a nice snack.


Once theyre not too hot to touch - because you are going to have to get your hands dirty, so make sure they're clean! - Mash them with your handy potato masher, adding the butter and salt at this stage too. Remember, about 1 tbsp per kilo or so of potatoes for butter and about a teaspoon or so of salt, in successive batches you can add more if it's to your taste but it's best not to come out of your first try with scones that pucker your mouth.

Once your potatoes are thoroughly mashed, begin adding flour and combining it into the mix with your hands. Keep doing so until it reaches a doughlike consistency, you want it floury enough that you can work it like a ball of dough and not have it splatter and stick everywhere, but not so much that it's starting to separate and crumble apart. It's usually better to err on the side of not enough flour than too much, you can always add more flour if your test scones aren't up to snuff, you can't pull the flour out of the mix and boiling up more potatoes would be a pain in the arse.



Roll out your mix on a floured board and flatten it to about a quarter of an inch. Not too thin, but not so thick that the outsides burn before it's cooked properly through. The potatoes are already cooked so you aren't gonna die or anything, but if its not baked through its going to be softer than it ought to be. Depending on how much mix you've prepared, you'll need to do the rolling/cooking stage a few times over. I suggest making a lot, they go fast.



Cut them into squares circles or whatever takes your fancy and drop em on a pan. The floury nature means you won't have to grease the pan but you can give it a light coat if you've got a particularly sticky one, this will affect the cooking time though and make them a bit more fried-like. You'll want them to cook for 2 to 3 minutes a side on a medium-high heat. You're aiming for this sort of colour when you're done.


A taste test.. (obligatory animal pic in SA food post)


Now repeat until all your mix is cooked! Eat these with beans, with ketchup and salt (my simple favourite), sour cream and sweet chilli, cream cheese, you can do just about anything with em. They keep perfectly in the freezer too. That's a whole lotta delicious and the cost weighs in at under $2. You can't beat that for value. God bless you, potato scones



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